Why am I telling you this story, you ask? Because Kawasaki has an all-new stand-up Jet Ski model, and even I think it'd be a bad idea to hand me the keys to it. Seriously, I'd probably die.

The jet ski is a simple enough craft to understand. You put a powerful combustion engine into a small hull big enough to stand or sit on. You pair it with a jet drive that squirts water out the ...